An Outsider's Experiences

An Outsider’s Experiences
January 9, 2007
I have not made any great attempt to befriend locals yet. School started yesterday and it is obvious that the five (soon to be six) international students stick out. We are the only Caucasian students on the campus – literally. I do not feel afraid while I am at school, but obviously integration will take some effort and I haven’t even established strong friendships with the other students in my program yet. I’d rather have something I can fall back on in case relationships with locals fall through, etc. Maybe I’m just being defensive for not befriending locals yet. Anyway, so far I’ve only been hanging out with the other IPSL students – all from America. And while I am aware that this can prevent cultural immersion, it has allowed me to continue to perceive Jamaica in the mindset that I am familiar with. I plan to go to the Student Union on Monday when I have class again to sign up for an intramural soccer team and to join the Rastafarian Club on campus. I hope to meet locals that way.
My physical appearance has been playing a very large role in my experiences these past two days. I stand out a lot at school and other students always look strangely at us. I don’t know what they’re thinking, but you know that they’re thinking something because they can’t stop staring. Even outside of class, the importance of race is clear. When people try to get our attention, they yell "Whitey!" and other terms like that. It’s strange to be so distinguishable from locals. I feel really lost because I haven’t figured out if the slang used for white people should be offensive or not. So for now I just wave at whoever makes the comment because I figure it can’t do any harm, but not waving might come off as rude.
The most prominent experience that I’ve had thus far, however, occurred today on a bus in Papine. Papine is about a fifteen-minute walk from my house, and about a five-minute walk from my school. After school today one of the new IPSL students had to buy a cell phone. There is a phone store in Papine, so we walked there after class. After Papine we had planned on going to Liguanae to purchase books we need for class. Liguanae is about a forty-five minute walk from Papine so we decided to take the bus. We got on the bus and while we were waiting for it to load, a street vendor hopped on the bus and solicited people to buy fruits or beverages. He said, "Anyone can buy a drink – even white people!" This immediately caught my attention because I didn’t know if he had meant for the phrase to be offensive. As he made his way to the back of the bus he made eye contact with Rachael, one of the other IPSL students. He said, "Don’t look so innocent, white girl. I know that your great grandfather helped kill thousands of black people."
I don’t even know how to respond to this. I’m still perplexed by how I should feel about that comment. Part of me is furious that he would associate us with the same white people that enslaved Africans, especially when we are here doing 15 hours of community service a week. That same part of me is angry that he couldn’t make a distinction between generations of people and their different mindsets, and that he could make a comment like that when he has no idea about where my family background lies. That was the first emotional response that I had. Soon after though, a part of me felt sympathetic for him. After all, black people are not indigenous to Jamaica. The Spanish and the British brought them here as slaves. Today Jamaica is a third world country that experiences hardships that, living in the US, I never would have imagined, and are largely the result of slavery. I bounce back and forth between the two views but I have to say that I am more offended than understanding. I want to know if he felt passionate about what he said, or if he just said it. And I want to know if I am over reacting or if my offense taken is a result of my American culture…
Being on this side of the race issue is a completely new perspective for me, and it’s something that I anticipated but did not mentally prepare myself for. While I was on the bus several ideas flew through my mind. I thought about standing up for us and tell him that he has no ground to say things like that. I thought about lying and saying I was from Japan and that I had nothing to do with the slavery that he was referring to. I thought about getting off the bus and taking a new one to Liguanea. But most of all, I thought about what all the other people on the bus were thinking. In Jamaica, the busses are always packed. There were tons of people on the bus and they all witnessed the incident because he conveniently gained their attention at the beginning of his sales pitch. I don’t know what the people were thinking and that’s what bothered me most. I realized that I really don’t belong to this culture because I was not confident to stand up for what I was feeling at the time. If I was on a bus in San Mateo and someone made a comment like that to me, I’d feel comfortable standing up for myself because I know that the majority of people on the bus would feel the same as I do. In San Mateo, I wouldn’t be the only white person on a bus; in San Mateo I wouldn’t be the only one offended by a comment like that; in San Mateo I might even know other people on the bus who would support me; in San Mateo I’d have a more familiar environment so if things got out of hand I’d know where to go; in San Mateo I would be more confident of myself, my actions and my emotions; in San Mateo I’d feel safe. But I was not in San Mateo. I stayed quiet and he eventually walked past us and exited the bus before it took off for Liguanea.



Sunday, January 14, 2007
We went to the beach on Friday. I have never seen water bluer than what I saw that day. The water was warm and really salty (it was hard to avoid floating) and the sun was shining all day long. We went to a beach called Hellshire, which is one of the two beaches in Kingston parish. Hellshire is a beach known for its fish and carnival and the entire beach is lined with little shacks where you can buy food and drink. Although the locals can be a bit pushy, I found it very amusing that as we were walking through a restaurant to get to the beach, the owner reached into a cooler and pulled out an uncooked fish that was bigger than my head to entice us to eat there for lunch – as if that would be appetizing to a bunch of Americans whose favorite fish is frozen fish sticks.
We spent the entire day at the beach, but the most impressive event was when two boys hung out with us. They were brothers, one was 11 and the other was 12. We asked why they weren’t in school and they told us that they couldn’t afford the bus so instead of staying home alone they went to the beach. They said that they were hungry and thirsty so I bought them juices and they ate the leftover festival that we didn’t want. The boys followed me to the bar while I bought them juices but the bartender kicked them out immediately – not because they were underage, but because they were beggars. It seems like most people here frown upon poverty, which is ironic because it is so omnipresent. I don’t know if buying the children juices and giving them our leftovers was the right thing to do because it is not what is expected by Jamaican culture. I can’t help thinking that it’s not the children’s fault if their parents cannot afford transportation to school and that this lack of education will negatively affect their adult lives. I felt really bad for those boys, but I was amazed at how happy and carefree they seemed.
As an American, there are many things that I find inconvenient about Jamaica. The biggest problem that I’ve identified so far is the absence of hot water in my house. I have to admit that I like taking cold showers when it is hot outside - and it is very hot out here - but "cold" to me is more like room temperature. The water that comes out of my shower is FREEZING. My hygiene and my dislike of frigid water temperatures are in a constant battle. I keep telling myself that I’ll get used to the cold showers, but I haven’t yet, and I’m starting to think that I never will. Another inconvenience about Jamaica is their perception of time. It took a whole week to get to the office to get my student ID. Every time I went either the photographer had the day off or my paperwork hadn’t been sent. Pretty much every business has lunch hours, so I can’t do anything productive during my break between classes (which is conveniently from 12 to 1) like going to the post office or bank. Once I finally got my student ID, I went to the computer lab to get set up for an account so that I could use the internet for free at school. They said that the system would have my information updated within an hour so I stayed on campus for an hour, just waiting to use the internet. Three hours later it was still not working. When I went back to ask them what was wrong, they said that it would be ready by tomorrow. So, I still don’t have a consistent or convenient way to check my email. Finally, customer service in Jamaica is horrible. No one cares about the customer. Employees don’t even talk loud enough for you to hear them or look at you while you’re checking out. When you go to a restaurant there’s no "enjoy your meal" and when you go to the supermarket no one says, "have a nice day" as you check out. No one is willing to help you find something you need. They say that it’s not their problem if you can’t find something and go back to their business stocking the shelves. It’s annoying.
Anyway, I’m realizing a lot of the things that we take for granted as Americans. I’m also realizing that studying abroad is going to be a long and difficult learning experience for me. I have a whole 18 weeks of cold showers, no air conditioning (it’s 85* now but it will only get hotter for the rest of my stay), cockroaches, lizards, mosquitoes and birds that won’t shut up at night.
Some people have been emailing me about what kind of food they have in Jamaica. Lots of fruit and lots of fish. Juice is really big here and fish is the main meat. I tried curried goat a few days ago (I ate it but I probably wouldn’t get it again). I pretty much eat fish for lunch and dinner every day, with chicken about once a week. Beef is non-existent, except in patties, and I have yet to try oxtail. A lot of the foods here are not appealing to me. I had pickeled fish a few days ago with pumpkin and yam, and I didn’t like any of it. I’m having a hard time adjusting to the foods here because they are so different and I’m not used to any of them. My favorite juice is cherry, but cucumber is a close second. Kyle likes fish a lot so I’m sure that he’ll like the food when he gets here, but I think that I’m a little pickier than him. I REALLY MISS MEXICAN FOOD!!! Other things I’ve noticed – Coke is non existent on this island. Pepsi rules Jamaica. Also, no McDonalds – only Wendy’s and Burger King. Finally, the official king of fast food in is Kentucky Fried Chicken. I’m sure that if Dave Chappelle knew this, he would have a field day. There are no Starbucks, but there are so many KFC’s that they make up for it.